Yesterdays Thoughts

I don’t know why I am just sitting here. I have been sitting in this parking lot for about 30 minutes outside the gym I chose to join a long time ago but never followed through. I don’t need to dig up any courage or will power. I am already here. I want to make the right choice. I want to just make a choice. This would be costly if I end up not following through.

The most important choice isn’t the choice I am making right now. The most important choice is going to be the choice I make tomorrow morning and Friday morning and the mornings of all next week and so on. I don’t want to just drop out again. I need to make a change.

I don’t trust myself to follow through. I don’t follow through on anything. You never see super heroes or super villains that are bad at following through. If they were they would have never been super or even average. They would have only been people who you never read about. Some terrible idea crumpled up in the bottom of an authors trash can.

Everyone I know who has accomplished something that I look up to has followed through. They made a plan and somehow stuck to it. That has been the part of the plan I have never accomplished. The elusive power to stick to the plan until it is completed.

I don’t need much I just need someone to help me stick to it. To carry on no matter how much I want to quit or sleep in, no matter how apathetic i feel about the plan or goal. I can be such a jack ass when it comes to that. Stubborn as a jack ass excuse my language.

I need a jack ass whisperer or at least some one with a very pointy stick who doesn’t mind when I swear at them, telling them I hate them even though I don’t hate them. The fact of the matter is those kinds of people are the people I am fondest of. I appreciate their courage to continue to push the un-encourage-able. alright enough procrastinating and introspection… I’m going in.

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